The Abused Empath: Being An Empath Doesn’t Mean Being Abused

Hello, dear Empaths, I want to remind you about how wonderful you are.  You and I are the ones sent here to make a difference;  we are the listeners, helpers and actually the strong ones who are kind, and would help anyone.  We just can’t say no.  But we all know we also are often abused.

I don’t know about you, but the abuse often leads me to inner anger, and frustration.  Why did I let that person abuse me?  Why did I let them call me names, treat me so badly?  Why did I let them embarrass me in public?  Why did I not stand up for myself, and tell them off?  Why did I smile and walk away?  Simple:  because like you, I’m an empath, and even when we are angry, frustrated and sick and tired of the bad treatment, we still don’t say anything, because we STILL don’t want to hurt anyone. I can feel their pain and at a deep level, I don’t want them to hurt.  Yeah, I guess it’s ok for me to hurt, but hurting someone else is the worst thing I can feel.  That’s the way our Higher Power made us.

But I am still learning boundaries, too.  Recently, I had a run-in with another empath who went off on me because I called her at an inappropriate time;  I was just trying to return her call, and be supportive about it.  She went on for minutes about how I’m supposed to ‘own it.”  She ranted for minutes about my inappropriateness, and how she was working and I was going to get her fired, even though she called me from that number, and never left any messages about when to call.  I thought I was doing the right thing;  I know she was possibly being evicted from her apartment and she was scared, and I wanted to be supportive.

I calmly listened, and after she calmed down, she did apologize.  I forgave her, BUT do I need this abuse again, (she called at 1AM by-the-way), disturbing my sleep and my family, so she could feel better?  No, I do not need this abuse again,  and neither should anyone, empath or not,  put up with abusive behavior. We as empaths, especially,  need to know when NOT to go back for more.

There comes a time of BALANCE: although we are loving helps of the Universe, we are STILL human, and there comes a time to cut our losses and let go.  For me, it was today with this person.  I just erased her name from my phone and will never pick up her calls ever again.  Is this passive-aggressive?  Yes, I admit it is, but I just can’t put up with negative behavior anymore, and neither should you.

Do you have someone like this in your life?  If you are an empath, I bet you do.  We attract these type of people(many are often empaths, also).  And you should only have to take so much.  We need to learn when the relationship is a lost cause.  We can only help so much, and when it crosses a line into our personal lives, starting to be abusive, we need to cut ties.  I cannot tell you how many people I have had to cut out of my life on the last 7-10 years, as I have become aware of the abusive nature in the relationship.  I sometimes even feel a little lonely, because they are gone, but I am learning that this is for my own good.

Will I ever talk to them again?  Yes, probably to say ‘hi’ or to send a Christmas card.  I wish them well, but they will always be at arms length, while I try to find people who need my help, and can return the favor. After all, that is what friendship is truly about, and these people become my friends over time.  I will always love the people I have distanced, but I need to take care of myself also.

When it all comes down to it, we are empaths, but that doesn’t mean we need to be abused.  We need to set limits to how much we can take, and then let go of those abusing us.  It’s hard for empaths, because we always ‘feel’ bad.  But it’s necessary for our spirituality and to help those and do what we can for others.  Remember empaths are human, too.

 

 

 

 

Manifestation: It’s easier than you think

“I think, therefore, I am.”  I always remember that from my philosophy class. Actually, that’s the only thing I remmeber, but that’s another story. But what I think he was trying to saywas really, that because we think we exist, and moreover, thoughts are actual things.

Yeah, I know and agree that abstract feelings are things; love, hate, hurt. But if we feel those things, we are creating, and can we create with our thought patterns?  Of course, most of us know it’s true.  We create our life through our thought patterns and reactions to what happens to us throughout our life, both positive and negative.

There is a theory that I’m privy to.  Many feel like, since we were created like God, we are God-like(or Goddess-like),and because we are a piece of the divine, like him(her), we need and have the ability to create our own lives and situations.  We concentrate on what we want; good or bad, and it happens.  It’s called manifestation, and I am positive I can do this and so can you!

For instance, I know that whenever I need money, it magically appears.  Short on Cash?  I suddenly get an unknown check in the mail or a call from a client wanting a psychic reading.  Very seldom have I been where I’m in dire straights. And I’m not sure how I do it, but I know I do.  I think most of it is truly believe your Higher Power knows best.  I truly believe that the money will truly be there.  I have FAITH in myself and my higher power.  Now sometimes I’m doubtful, but I would say 99% of the time, what Itruly wants happens for me.  Here are someof the things that I do personally. If you see something you do besides these things, feel feel to message me with your thoughts!

  1.  Trust and believe.  Like I said, I truly believe that money will always be there.  I used to be a little careless with my money, and that didn’t help matters, even though more money would show up.  As I’ve aged, I’mmore careful with my  money, but still really trust some money will show up when I need it.

2.  Pray or meditate.  Think about it; isn’t praying a form of meditation? We block      everything external at that moment and concentrate on the task at hand.  We are more conscious while praying, but we are using the same part of our brain as meditation( I believe it’s alpha waves, but I may stand corrected.)  We are connected to our higher selves; be it through ourselves or our Higher Power. This is where we can concentrate on our needs and desires. It may seem contradictory to trusting, but it’s not, really.  It’s just added energy to the problem at hand.

3.  Act as if.  I heard this on tv(I think Oprah, maybe), and it works.  I act as though I’m a millionaire New York Times Best Seller’s list author, and things start to happen in that direction. Acting as if you are what you want helps you hone the talents that give you what you want.  In this way, it’s almost like a physical way of manifesting your desires through your behavior.

Be Careful What You Wish For:  A Warning

Manifestation is a great thing; just be careful in HOW you do it.   “There’s an old addage , “be careful what you wish for,” but I think it should also have this added, “And how you wish for it.”

I know for myself, I am very good at manifesting things.  But I’m also not always careful in how I do it.  For example, a few years ago, I kept saying I was tired of my car and wanted a new one; well, yes, I got a new one after I totaled my old one and had to buy a new car.  I also recently kept saying I need a new wallet; and you guessed it, it suddenly disappeared from my purse with all of my credit cards and license.

What we need to do with all of this power is be manifest in, in a positive way, and be VERY SPECIFIC.  I should have thought, ‘I need a new car and am going to save up and trade it in,’ instead of just thinking I need a new car.  the Universe will give you want you wish for, remember that. It’s a combination of your behavior, actions and wishes; we are more powerful than we could ever imagine.

So what do you need to manifest?  More money, a new job?  Start manifesting, and good luck!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empaths Need Other Empaths

There’s an old saying that I remember from when I was a child.  “Men need women, and women need other women.”  I very much believe this is true, but more than that, to change the phrase a little, “inutitives need empaths, and empaths need other empaths.”And I know for certain this is true.

As far as the woman thing is concerned, yes, more women happen to be empaths.  It’s the female energy thing.  We are all born male or female energies; even if we are born as male, we may have female energy.  That doesn’t mean we are gay, straight, transgender; it just means that at the core of our soul we are nurturers. This doesn’t mean that male engy isn’t a nurturer; it’s just the way our essesnces exist.  For me, I feelas though I’m a male energy, even though I’m a mother, grandmother, wife, etc.(But this is a whole other blog page coming later.)

What I’m trying to get at is the empath thing.  You know what I’m talking about anf if not, look back at my other blog pages or take a quick test, lana-psychicmedium/fb.com.   We, as fellow empaths, need to support each other.  We already have the gift of knowing or sensing when someone is struggling.  So why not supposrt our friends?  We all know we already do this, but what about in a support-group type setting?

For me personally, I have a small, intimate group of people who I’ve let into my life that are empaths.  I need them; they need me.  I feel supported, loved, and heard.  They know how I feel, and I know how they feel.  They cleanse and support my soul.  Be careful and look; use your empathic ability to ‘size’ up who you can trust.

Find your circle and stick to them.  You are human and can’t live in a bubble. Even if your circle is small.  As empaths we have an extra hard mission, and need that little bit of support.  Sometimes, they may be hard to find.  I found that my circle are all psychic mediums, like myself, and sometimes we even do readings for each other. Ask your angels for support and help finding your ‘tribe.’ You can’t be a empath on your own. We have a hard job and lots of love to bring to the world.

 

 

 

Can We Truly Heal The World?

So come on, dear empaths, anyone over the age of thirty can see it; the world and it’s people have become nasty, egocentric, abusive, crass and self-centered.  I’m not sure why; I think I know why, but that’s also my political view, which I am not willing to share(and I believe that is one of the reasons why everyone is this way.)

But I ask you a question, because I know I’m guilty, too.  Is this meanness and cruelty also wearing on you, casuing you to react in the same way?  Are we caught up in a chain reaction of negativity?  As empaths, we pick up other people’s energy, good or bad.  As we the problem or the solution?

Well, we all know the answer; we were created differently, with more perception, kindness, love and understanding.  Our higher power has chosen us to have these superpowers and use them for a reason.  I have written repeatedly as how to use protect yourself, but we also need to learn how to use them.  Remember, being an empath is not just a gift, but using it effectively is an acquired skill.  Can we heal the world through our gift and people skills?  I think we can.

I think that most of the problem with everyone nowadays is that we’re purely stressed out.  We’re are merely in survival mode; trying to get through life day by day, and everyone else is wrapped up in survival, they don’t have time to think of others.  And this is not to mention pollutants, which I feel also change our brains, making us even more stressed out.

I admit, I can be a real bitch. People’s negavity can wear off on me in a big way, and yes, I admit, i have a temper.  But like you fellow empaths, I’m human.  We all have our faults.  I’ve recently tried some new approaches to help others heal, and it seems to work.  Actually, when I’ve consciously used some of these techniques, not only are the other people happier, so am I.   As an empath I am peaping what I sow.  What could be better than that? These are just a few things I’ve done to heal anger, stress and resentment in others.  I know that many of you know of some of these techniques, but I’m going to remind you of them anyways.

  1.  Apreicate, appreciate, appreciate!

I find that what makes people the most unhappy is the lack of appreciation.  “I work so hard, and no one cares,” or “I have given up everything for this person, and they don’t care.”  I know I’ve like this many, mnay times. So what if you make someone’s day by saying ‘thank you so much for picking up some milk after work, dear, that made me very happy.”  You see, humans are actual people pleasing; we generally want to make other happy and be accepted.  I always think of showing appreciation as giving that person attention.  We all need attention, and crave approval.  It’s part of our social makeup.

I do this sometimes; I look everyday for someone to say thank you to.  Today it was my barista army coffee shop.  She always knows how to make my coffee just right.  That sure makes my life easier, and it’s very comforting for someone to know me so well.  it means a lot, and I needed to tell her that. Find someone every day; you never know how much better you made their day.

2.  Compliment, compliment, compliment!
Ever notice that some people cannot pay compliments?  it’s like it takes something away from themselves by doing that.  I always say, “There’s enough light in the world for everyone to shine,” and I mean it.  I always notice things people do well and make sure I tell them.  One thing I never ever do, though, is pay a phony compliment.  That comes from years of teaching school; kids always know when you’re not sincere. I wouldn’t do that anyways; I’m too honest.  Anyways, I try to find someone to pay a compilment to.  I often try to tell the lady at the drive thru how pretty her eyes are, or I love her hair.  Watch their faces; they’ll be shocked at first, and then smile.  You just made their day.

3.  Refuse to Argue

Some people love to argue.  Many people are also so narcissistic that they just “know” that their opinion is right.  I see that all the time on Facebook.  And I have to admit, they’ve gotten me sucked in to heated arguments.  This is how I’m curbing it;  watch for a potential argument in any situation.  As soon as they start ranting, cut them off with; “I like your opinion.  I guess we have to agree to disagree.”  Then sign out.  If they still carry on, block notifications, and ignore them.  Mentally wish them well and move on.  I don’t have to remind you that there are people out there who love to argue. Don’t let them suck you in.  It’s nouse arguing with someone because you rarely change their mind.

4.  Stay True to what You know is Right, remind others by action, not preaching

You know right from worng, and in today’s society, many people who are not like us do not.  Don’t let them get you sucked in. If you see you’re going down that path, back up, and just watch. I someitmes will point of a transgression; but I do it in a non-accusatory way.  For example; You know I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’d say something mean back to that person who just called me names. I think I wouldn’t let them manipulate me, but that’s just me.”  Do you see? I turned it around to be passive, with being confrontational.  Maybe they listen, maybe they don’t, but at least I tried to help.

I know many of you know these things; we empaths are wise and have lived many times.  Maybe you just needed to be reminded, I’m not sure.  I hope you rmember our mission, and that we are truly here to save the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can Empaths Help Others Be Kind?

So with the recent things happening in the United States, one cannot ignore how mean, self-centered, narcissistic and cruel people have become.  There are many theories as to why, but I’m not going to concentrate on that.  I’m concentrating on how we, as empaths can help make things kinder for everyone.

I know that by doing good things, karmically, we can bring good to the world.  But has anyone ever thought, that if we pick up vibes from people, it’s a two-way street?  Of course it is. Can we also give off positive loving vibes and help people be kinder?  Of course we can. We are at it’s core, soul healers, and that is why we were given our gifts.

Anyone that knows about Reiki will atest to this. We can give loving energy to anyone, anytime.  And as empaths, we are all aware of this energy 100% of the time.  We know when people are down, happy, sad, etc.  We always try to help, and offer our positive energy.

But this takes a LOT of our energy and strength.  Everyone knows how hard it is to stay positive with negative people.  There are some days, I know, I just feel like I can’t take it anymore. But we still have to try.  The world needs empaths(and light workers) more than at any other time.  Here’s some things to help you recharge your batteries to help heal so many people that need it.

  1.  Stay grounded.  Staying grounded can be done in many ways.  For me, it’s digging in the dort, or being in nature.  Also, during the summer, I slepp in a tent on the ground.  Studies have shown that dirt acctually gives off serotonin and dopamine.  It also absorbs negative energy.  For many years I used to walk barefoot in my yard.  That stopped when I bought my farm(I have many animals!).  But I noticed not only had my foot muscles had become weak, and I couldn’t stay grounded. I started walking around my front yeard again barefoot, and noticed a difference immediately.

2.  Pray for others, and wish no one harm, hold your temper.  I know everyone knows this, but just remember;  the next time someone cuts you off, put yourself in their place and try to understand that NO ONE wants an accident.  It reduces your anger and the thought that anyone is trying to target you. Most of the time, we get angry because we feel our rights have been stepped on.

3.  Just let it go.  Yeah, I know, this is an old cliche. But you need to do this to help others.  Is it useful?  Is it helpful?  Is it needed?  Does it make you a better person?  If not, let it go.  I know it’s harder than it sounds.

4.  Meditate.  everyone meditates differently.  Some listen to loud, head-banging music.  Some need alone time.  SomeE need to take a walk, or jog.  Find that meditation.  It’s all about the brainwaves.  You need to get out of the conscious alpha brain waves, that produce stress, anxiety, anger, etc.  Listen to your body and you can FEEL when this is happening.  Everything seems to quiet down, including your blood pressure, heartbeat and your mind.

Giving People Positive ENERGY

Yes, when your batteries have been recharged, you can help give healing energy to others. It doesn’t always work, because some people DON”T want to be healed, but for those who do, these are some things to concentrate on.

  1.  Imagine yourself in a pyramid, giving love to that other person.  In this pyramid, love can go out, and no negative energy can come back in.  Imagine love radiating out only, with only positive enrgy coming back in.

2.   DO what you can do, and walk away.  Don’t keep trying repeatedly to help                   others(which I know is hard for empaths.)

3.  Make the other person feel good about themselves.  It seems like everyone is so mean to each other nowadays.  Give compliments.  It doesn’t make you less of a person.  I personally tell young women who I feel that have esteem issues, “OMG, you’re so cute.  Your have beautiful eyes!”  You’ll never know how much that might’ve meant to someone.  We’re so used to insults nowadays, than compliments, it usually shocks people, and that is what’s so sad!

4. Ask for angels to help the person. .  I’ve summoned angels, and I know personally, that it works.  Call upon an angel to protect and support that perspn.

5.  Set an example. Say or do something selfless, EVERY SINGLE DAY.  People truly are watching.

So there are some things we can do everyday, to help others be kinder.  Physical acts are just a few.  Explore trying to give off energy to help heal, and concentrate on other’s attributes.  There is truth to the phrase, “If you can’t say anything nice, say othing at all.”  Also give off love to the person from your heart.  It help you be kinder, and helps the worlde be kinder also.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is It Ok to Pray at a Place Where You Don’t Practice Their Religion?

I really don’t know what religion I am.  I always call it ‘the religion of Lana”.  A little Christianity, a little Buddhism, a little New Age. I am a practicing medium and psychic, Reiki healer, hypnotist and animal communicator.   I think most of use agree that we don’t agree on all the tenets of many organized religions.  As for me, I refuse to believe in what someone tells me I should.  I have no qualms about people who do; just don’t spout at me about how you’re right and everyone else is wrong, and there will be no problems.

If you aren’t aware, I’ve been injured, and pretty severely.  So severe, my massage therapist and chiropractor have never seen this before.  I tore 2 major muscles in my back,  (yeah my butt!), and my QL(controls your whole upper body!), and ruptured a disc.   Wow, talk about pain!  I would not wish this on anyone. The worst pain is the healing process, because they muscles tug on your pelvis and ball joint. It’s really hard to get up each morning.

Anyways, I do believe in the ability  of my Higher power and miracles.  I have seen them repeatedly, and know that miracles exist.  I think that in our busy world, we just don’t pay attention, or slough it off to medical misdiagnosis, and the like.  Science always tries to explain what it really can’t.

I am from the tundra which we call Wisconsin.  There is a verified place of miracles ordained by the Catholic church in Champion, Wi.  People come from all around the world to visit there. It is called The Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help.  I had read about that apparitions of Mother Mary and some of the healing that goes on there.  So I decided to take a day trip with a friend.

I wasn’t sure what to expect;  me a New Age Medium going to a Catholic Shrine.  I thought about it for a long time?  If I got healed or got a huge message would I convert?  What is my belief about all of this?  I knew my belief in who the apparition was varied greatly from many of the people who were praying there.

I got there, and as an energy healer, yes, there was something there. There were people praying and chanting, and although I wanted the quiet, I stayed in the chapel and continued to pray.  I decided that my Higher Power is my Higher Power; he/she/it doesn’t care what they are called.  They love you and don’t want you to be miserable.  So I continued to pray and meditate, without restraints and without judgement for anyone there, including for myself.

And yes, I got my answers.  I had been meditating about a career decision, and got that too. And yes, I have been healing.  In past articles I wrote about how to be specific when you put your wishes and desires out there(prayer), and this was no exception.  Yes, I am healing, but in considerable pain as the muscles pull on four other ligaments and joints. I forgot to ask for as little pain as possible during the healing process. When will I ever learn to be more specific?

My point is this; is it ok for someone who doesn’t share your beliefs to be next to you, praying?  Of course it’s ok.  It’s all about tolerance, and realization that God is God, no matter what. Remember that next time you judge somoene else about theirs beliefs. Mined your own business and heal your own life. Your personal relationship with your own Higher Power is all that matters.

 

Remember: Spirit Will Give you What you Need, not What you Want

cropped-2017-06-27 20.08.25I know that you are here to learn more about yourself, or you wouldn’t bother reading this. But I have a recent episode in my life that maybe you can relate to.

I injured myself.  Pretty bad, too.  Tore a major muscle that holds my sacroilliac joint and hip in place.  Also herniated a disc.  Every morning is a painfest as I try to ‘pop’ my joints back in place with exercises from a physical therapist.

Now here’s the kicker,  I’m not really complaining.  I just kind of think of it as a ‘bump’ in the road to being a healthier me. I’m grateful to friend who pointed that out to me when I started complaining about this.

Anyone that knows me, I’m a ball of energy.  I work fulltime, blog, do readings, run a farm, have a rental and have my daughter moved back in with me.  I go and go and go and…… I’ve always been like this.  I usually ignore stress and overwork, and just keep plugging away. I know many of my readers are the same, The American Way, right?

But secretly in my mind, I wished to slow my life down.  I was feeling that my life was going so fast, I had no time to literally ‘smell my roses'(I garden and have many rosebushes).  I really felt like I needed a break.  Just a little more time off than my 3 month break from my teaching position.

Well, as you can see, sometimes, the Universe gives you an answer,  but not in the way you’d like.  Some people say that you create your own life and destiny, and yes, I agree with that.  It seems strange, doesn’t it?  I ASKED to be laid up and in pain indefinitely?

Well, I’ve made stupid wishes before, and I guess I’ll do them again.  I kept wishing for time off, and I was not specific, and this is what I got.  I’m off; I’m just injured. I’m scared this may be permanent, but I keep praying and there does seem to be improvement, and most of my day is pretty pain-free.  I still cannot do certain tasks, but that is coming along. This time off has also given time to think;  Do I want to do something else?  Do I really want to keep up this pace?  I’ve had lots of time to think.

My point is; life is how you view it.  I am viewing this as a blessing.  Even though I am frustrated and have pain, it has given me time to truly ‘slow’ down.  I’m relaxing, resting and working on my health.  This has also made me aware of something that I had taken granted for; my health, which has always been excellent up until now.

Glass half-full, or half-empty?  In this case, I view it half full.  Don’t question whys or hows, or if I only had done this, that or the other thing.  View it as a bigger picture.  Here’s some things to think about when things come from Spirit.

  1.  Did I need this?  Did I, in a remote way, wish for this?
  2. Have I been specific with my desires? (ALWAYS BE SPECIFIC!!!)
  3. What am I learning?
  4. Has this episode made me a better person?
  5. Am I trying to make lemonade with the lemons that I’ve been thrown?

I know it’s hard;  as you can see, I’m right along there with you.  But you can chose to be bitter and angry, or view it as a way to become a better you.  It’s your choice. I choose the positive.  I think that this is going to make me more empathetic with my clients who have back issures, and my positive attitude will help me heal faster.

What is YOUR issue?  What challenges do YOU face?  You can overcome it with a positive attitude and a forgiving perspective.  Remember you are a piece of the divine, you can do anything!